Now that my teacher is on a break for a few months, I am turning inwards and also a bit outwards. I am really spending time reflecting on what it is that I truly want to bring into this world. Do I want to be a world famous author? Maybe. Do I want to be a world famous coach? Maybe. Do I want to teach children music? Do I want to tell stories? Maybe. Do I want to just be and not do anything sometimes? Maybe. It’s fascinating to see how I can day dream and come back to reality and again go on a day dreaming spree and again come back to reality and just be. I love it! Yesterday, a few of us listened to one of my teacher’s recordings. At this point, I just randomly choose a number and listen to one of his old sessions. And usually it’s what I need to hear at that point in time. So, in this session particularly, he said, check, where is your landing place? So, let me put it into perspective for you and me. An aeroplane has a landing place, a leaf has a landing place when it falls on the ground, but where do your thoughts and your feelings and your triggers land within you? Does it even have a landing place? or Does it dissipate into every cell of your body without you even knowing? When someone says something you don’t quite like, where does it land? Where do you feel it? When you’re attached to someone and they leave or die, where do you feel this in your body? Where does it land? Does it reach your heart space? or Does it reach a place in your head? As I kept thinking about this, I realised there isn’t any specific landing place for most feelings. When something happens that you don’t quite like, and it triggers something within you, you start to feel tensed, constricted, irritated, sad, upset, angry, all these feelings get mixed up within you but they don’t have a landing place. But what if they don’t land anywhere within you. What if these triggers, these upsets, these conversations that bother you just dissolve into thin air. You don’t even let it come close to you. You let it pass in front of you. You watch your thoughts as they come and go like passing clouds. You don’t give them a place to land within you. When you do this over and over again. You learn the art of protecting your energy space. You start protecting your inner space. Your inner equilibrium stays unaffected by the happenings on the outside.
Does this mean I will never get angry? Nope. Does this mean I will never stand up for myself? Nope. Does this mean I will never have difficult conversations? Nope. Of course not. I will. People call me rude and harsh. People call me brash and upfront. I don’t hide behind any masks. I speak my mind. I am learning the art of working with my tone, of not reacting to outside triggers but instead going within and noticing where this thought or feeling landed, of pausing and checking why something someone said really bothered me. This is helping me heal myself. I don’t need a healer. I am healing myself.
So, the next time someone says something that triggers something within you, pause, and check where did it land? Did it land in your heart? Did it go straight to your heart and pierce it? Oops. That might hurt. Did it reach your head? Did you intellectualize it? Did your ego get hurt? What happened there? Did it reach somewhere in between? If it didn’t, well you are on your way to reaching a state of balance, where nothing that happens in the outside world affects your inner world. Your inner world continues to stay peaceful, and calm, and in a state of balance. You might not like what happened but the outer world happenings don’t shake your inner world.
A few exceptions to this rule for me would be when I am really hungry, or I have had a long day, or I have packed my day with numerous phone calls and interactions with little to no time for myself. So, I make sure I don’t do this on most days. I am trying to be as disciplined as possible. I am learning the art of slowing down to the rhythm of my life. I am releasing the need to have any sort of agenda when I meet someone or talk to someone. I am working on creating a healing space within myself and outside of myself.
Will I succeed? Time will tell. But I have taken my transformation very seriously for the first time in my life. When I transform myself from within imbibing all the things I have learnt and making it a practice, I will be in a position to help others around me. One day at a time, one step at a time.
Lots of Love,
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