The last few days, I have been listening to Jordan.b.Peterson. I just stumbled upon one of his videos while scrolling through Instagram and I paused because he was talking to my soul. It’s like he is gone straight into my heart and poked me from the inside and come right back out to talk about grief and pain. Then today, I stumbled upon yet another video where he spoke about writing. He said stop writing about the nice stuff. Ask yourself, what is bothering you? Where do you feel the pain and write about that? When you go to the root of your pain is where you fill find your destiny. In catastrophe is where the miracle is found, so go deeper and deeper and deeper. Feel your pain, dance with your pain, sing with your pain if you must and let it all out. A few days ago I did a session with a dear friend who made us dance to this amazing music where we were releasing all that was blocking us. It felt so good to dance like no one is watching and really punch something in the air, move your hands from side to side and really let go off all the frustration that’s eating you up. You know we always think we are past our pain but then it comes up, it keeps coming up and when you’re healing your mind, body and soul day after day for months and years, this can feel so endless. Because I feel like I have got it, I have figured how to manage my pain and then it all comes crashing down. These days, I can feel the pain in my heart centre. Previously, I could never feel it so clearly. These days I can feel a pain right in the middle of my heart. And as I hear Dr. Jordan speak with so much passion about pain and grief, it shakes up my core and I can feel his pain in the way he speaks. He is so expressive and I have always been expressive myself but these days I am finding it hard to speak about my pain, I rather write about it here. It’s so much easier to write it and feel it than go around talking about it to anyone because no one gets me. I don’t get myself. I am really finding myself here and it feels like a long journey. I feel like it’s going to be the longest and most rewarding journey of my life and I am ready to fight for it, I am ready to go all out this time and not be afraid of anything that comes up. I am ready to feel the pinch, the pain, the hurt, the sorrow, the grief. I want to feel all of it so I can then be in a better place to help people around me. I don’t think I am here to just play around. I am here to really make a difference and sometimes, I can hear myself screaming from within, The voices inside of me are so loud that I am waiting for an outlet, an outlet to really get out there and be the change, become the change. I don’t want to think small. I don’t want to play small anymore.
I think I am on the path, finally. Every single atom in this universe has got me to where I am today and I am able to connect all the dots. It’s nerve-wracking at times but I am also loving it. I am doing so many things but I am enjoying every minute of it. I am on the path to transformation. I am on the journey and it’s taking the life out of me but I have never been more ready. The time has come for me to fully blossom into the best version of myself and as I discover myself, I am hoping to help many others discover the same with lesser struggle and pain than I have endured.
Don’t get me wrong. I am the most blessed soul on Earth. I have been given things on a platter all my life, lived the best life but amidst all of this I wasn’t listening to my inner voice as much as I should have which was taking me off my path and I have been off it for many years now. To finally get a glimpse of what I am really meant to do in this world is feeling like freedom. I can touch it, smell it, and I am almost there. It’s like finally, I am here. I finally found what I really wanted to do. I can see it in front of me, unraveling itself day after day and I am excited and nervous both at the same time.
Incase you want to see the videos of Jordan.B.Peterson, follow the link below. They’re short and you can find the rest on his Instagram page.
Love & Blessings,
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