Have you ever felt chills down your spine? Have you ever felt words spoken by someone in your bones? What if you and me were together in a room and I kept silent, would you feel what I am feeling without me saying a word to you? Silence is Golden. We’ve heard this all our life but how many of us really access this silence? When you’re silent, you actually say a lot more. It’s strange but that’s how it works. The more silent you are, the more we will relate to each other. Well, that doesn’t mean we don’t communicate with each other or we avoid conflicts but sometimes you meet people where not much has to be said, they just get you without you saying a word. I have felt this way with very few people and those moments are priceless. You know, where you don’t have to explain yourself, you don’t have to tell them what you’re feeling, they just get where you’re coming from. This is rare. A very rare feeling but when you find these people, you don’t let them go. Because there will come a time in your life, where you won’t want to say much, where you’ve said it all, you’ve explained yourself a million times and so maybe it’s time to stay silent.

My teacher in one of his sessions said, I will connect with all of you when you’re silent. We won’t connect when we meet in this city or that city, he said. We will connect the most with each other in silence. A few days ago, I revisited that session just randomly and this time around it had a different effect on me because these days I don’t talk to my teacher, I don’t have too many questions but I still feel very connected to him. How? It’s magical. It’s like behind ever thought of mine there is a certain silence. I am able to access it anytime, anywhere. Sometimes, out of the blue. I am in a huge gathering but I just pause and there it is. I access my silence and it’s magical. The feeling is inexplainable and can only be felt. I think you come to this stage after meditating for a while and really sitting with yourself all alone. And I have done that day in and day out for many months. Sitting with myself without any distractions and here I am, a more calmer and silent person than ever before. My teacher also spoke about stillness, he said behind every action there is stillness. Unless there is stillness, there can’t be any action. Unless you’re still, you can’t move. Unless you’re still, you won’t know what’s your next action.

Now, you may say, let us forget all this silence and stillness. Let’s keep talking and discussing and moving and achieving. But then life is a complete race. You’re running all the time for something, not knowing where, what, and most importantly why. You can continue to live this way and I did it for so many years and of course, there was nothing wrong with me. I was perfectly normal. I was fun, funny, a joy to be around, I think. But there was something missing, something drastically missing. For the last many years, I have questioned myself, Who am I? What am I here for? What is my purpose in life? The best part, I had all the answers within me. I also spelt it out many times when I was in depression, not only to myself but even my mother. But then soon after, I would get carried away by the outside world and I would forget about my purpose and just start living like a robot, doing things without really listening to my heart. My heart has never failed me. My intuition has never failed me. I have used my gut feeling all my life. I know it’s very strong and so I don’t take forever to make decisions. But yes, I did over do things in the past, I jumped into things very easily and kept following my heart without giving myself any time. I had no idea what self care was about. Every damn thing was about the opposite person and in the process I lost my identity and I lost my purpose and also lost my inner voice. How did I find it back?

I found it back by becoming silent. I found it by really going within. I found it by spending a lot of time alone. I found it by answering my own questions about life. I found it by writing my blogs here, by reflecting on every damn thing my teacher taught me. I didn’t stop for many months and today I can wholeheartedly say that I am in a much better place. I am stronger, wiser, and at ease. I can touch silence and stillness whenever I want, wherever I want. And that’s where all my answers lie. All my answers have been answered in silence and will continue to be.

And I hope the same for all of you in 2023.

Lots of Love,

Miss Light

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