I think this will be the last post for me in the year 2022 and I think it’s the perfect one to end it with. A session I just completed with my teacher this evening, it was the perfect death and the perfect birth. First he gave us a scenario, he asked us to imagine that we only have 15 minutes to live in this life, and so we are going to die soon and now from this state of awareness we were asked to complete the sentences below and say what’s coming to our consciousness and so this is what came to mind for me as I put myself in that situation.
I am dying to all the things that did not serve me in this lifetime.
I am dying to all the ways in which I was asked to live my life
I am letting go of the desire to meet my teacher in this lifetime
I am letting go of all the times I have been judged, been hurt, been ill treated
I am letting go of this idea that I always need to be the best version of myself
And he slowly walked us through this process of dying and being born. He called it the bardo state. A state where you are neither born nor dead. It’s the in-between state of life and a few months ago I was in this state where everything around me was falling apart, my relationships, my identity, my sense of being, my personality, my joy, my fears, my love, everything was falling apart in front of my eyes, one after another. It felt like I was in a fast train of life and at every station I was dropping one thing and was becoming lighter and lighter. Today, I feel like I have reached the last station. What do I want to drop today? And as I die today and empty myself of every damn thing that’s ever been told to me, empty myself of myself, dissolve every cell of my being, dissolve into nothing, become nothing, where do I go from here? What’s next?
And my teacher said now complete the following sentences. You’re being born now.
The new reality I am stepping into and I said Love, Light, and Happiness. The new reality I am stepping into is filled with Love, Light, and Happiness. These three words have been by mantra or chant for god knows how many years now. It was like my whatsapp status and I don’t think I ever really understood the true meaning of these words but in the last few months, the meaning of these words have dawned upon me like nothing before.
I feel so complete and content today. I feel quenched. I feel like I don’t need to get anywhere. And as he asked us to complete one more sentence which just had two words, the words were This is
I didn’t want to complicate it with many many words or adjectives. I just wanted to keep it simple. The simpler the better. and I said
This is where my Life begins.
The words I said above felt very powerful to me. It felt like I have touched a new beginning, a new state of being, a new me, and as I step into this new year, 2023 in the next ten days, this is all I want to keep telling myself. I want to drop every other story ever told to me. I just want to remind myself of these words that popped up in my head on my teacher’s call,
This is where my life begins.
And so I am leaving the past behind and I am starting fresh in 2023. This is my 100th blog and it’s a special one for me. In a few months, I came from 0-100. It’s a big achievement because I never thought I had it in me to write so much and reflect so much. But I did and I have and so I am very excited to see what life has in store for me in the coming months and years. I feel ready! Ready to take on the world. Ready to be the new me.
May you all reach this new state of being like I have if you’ve struggled with your sense of purpose and inner calling for many many years. May you all have a wonderful end to 2022 and a beautiful beginning to 2023.
Happy New Year 2023 in advance! See you on the other side!
Lots of Love,
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