Don’t read too many books. Don’t listen to music all the time. Don’t listen to one teacher all the time. Don’t eat the same thing. Don’t drink too much alcohol. Don’t smoke too much. Don’t smoke up so much. Don’t love too much. Don’t have sex all the time. Don’t do too much of anything. Everything becomes an addiction and then you’re losing the point. It’s pointless. All the pain in life starts with an addiction. An addiction to something. Something is out of balance. So, first check in your life. Why do you do certain things? Is it an addiction to feel a certain way, because when you do those things, you feel a certain emotion and so you keep doing it because it reminds you of something and so you keep repeating the act. If you’re on the path of seeking and being, this is something you will need to look into. Because this addiction will not get you anywhere. I am addicted to my teacher and his calls. Seriously, I am. A few months ago, I thought I have been put on a ventilator and I feel its coming back, though I try to convince myself I have changed and evolved. But in reality I haven’t. I am still addicted to learning from him. Learning so much that my brain might explode.
Recently someone told me, how long will you learn from him? I said forever. Till the end of time. Why? is there a problem? Just because all of you couldn’t stick to one teacher, I also have to do the same? What if I am made differently? What if one teacher is more than enough for me to give me all the enlightenment I need? Why should I look else where? or Even if I do, I don’t have to follow them. I can follow my teacher right here till he dies or I die. Who has said I have to figure it out all on my own? Yes, I am making mistakes. So many mistakes. So many failures. So many disappointments. So much of everything that I am losing count these days. But I am still waking up and still showing up and still writing and still doing what I have to do each day. Why? You tell me, why am I able to do all this despite my life being so topsy turvy, so full of hurt, its because of my teacher, I know it. His presence makes me feel calmer and more wiser and gives me the strength to face anything in my life. How? How can one person have so much of an impact? You tell me, I don’t know. This is my first time too. So, what do I do? This is an addiction. An addiction to learn. An addiction to feel his presence. What happens if he leaves? I’ll be broken for sure. There are no two ways about this. I’ll be broken and I don’t think anyone will be able to fix me. I’ll learn to live with a broken self. So many people live with a broken heart and they survive, right? Its not easy but they do so I can do it too. I can do anything these days. You want me to Sky Dive, common let’s do it. You want me to travel with you to an unknown place, let’s do it. What’s the worst possible outcome? Face it. My teacher says, accept your deepest fear and you’re free. So, I’ll accept the worst possible outcome of my life with my teacher and I am free. I am free from my thoughts. Free from my stories. I can tell my mind to shut up because I have accepted it and so you can’t control me. From now on, I control my thoughts. Finally, I can control something that isn’t bad for me. Too much control also can be an addiction, we know it, so then, sometimes let the thoughts do what they have to do, and you just be the witness, you just laugh at yourself, and be amused. Be amused every single moment of the day at what an amazingly, crazy, mad, beautiful, person you are. Just Laugh.
Until next time.
Leave a Reply