Have you ever had a million thoughts one day and the next day your mind is so quiet? Have you had racing thoughts one day and the very next day you’re in silence. The last few days have been like that for me. On some days, I have so many dreams, ambitions, and on some days I don’t want to do anything. I just want to be. This could be possible because I am bit under the weather and maybe my body needs that rest, my mind needs that rest, and then I’ll be back again to that same energy levels, excitement levels, creativity levels, but what if it never come back? What if I am loving this silent space so much that I continue to be like this for a long time. Won’t that be nice? Can I still go with the flow? Do some fun things? Stir up my creativity? All from a place of stillness and presence. See, I am again using the words my teacher uses. They just come to me like wild fire. I don’t plan these blogs out. I just write. Of course, behind all of these writings is my teachers presence, his sessions and so he is my inspiration to write and think and reflect. Do you re-read your blogs several times? I do. Am I crazy to do that? But these days I do it a lot and I appreciate myself and I like to be awestruck by my own writings.
Yesterday, my teacher had a session on “Loving Silence” ,”Silence Loving” and then he went onto say that “When you love yourself, you’re loving silence.” I didn’t quite get it. I kept repeating the line in my head trying to figure out what he meant by that. Finally, I asked him. and he said, When you love yourself, don’t love the parts of yourself that say “I am creative” “I am fun” “I am so giving” “I am so this and so that” because all these are phases, which will pass. You can’t always be creative, fun, excited, giving, and so on and so forth. There will be times when you’re none of this. Like today, I am not feeling any of this. I just want to be. I don’t want to do anything, except write maybe. So, he said, does that mean you wont love yourself on days like this? No. You continue to love yourself despite not doing anything. And this phase might continue for a long time, and so you love the silence in you always, not the noise. Because even amidst the noise, there is a flow of silence within you. So, loving yourself means loving the silence. Love yourself so much on the good and not so good days, on the noisy and quiet days, and love yourself despite all your identities and roles you play in your life because all of that is just temporary. But silence is eternal. You will always have it in you, all you need to do is access it.
Loving Silence. Silence Loving. Eventually, silence will love you back and that day will be magnificent. You will yearn for that silence. You will yearn to be with yourself. I have reached that space. I can’t be around people too long these days. I keep coming back to myself. I love my silence. I love being with myself. I love doing nothing. I love looking into space. I love just being. I have finally touched this space of a “Human Being” Vs. a “Human Doing”. This has taken me a long time and I am sure I’ll go back to the doing part of the human but I will know when to access the being part of it too.
Thank you to my teacher who has walked into my life at the right time before I went astray with the right knowledge, the right teachings, the right everything. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Let me leave you with a quote from my teacher today,
What we are seeking is speaking, what we are is silent. – NS
Lots of Love,
Leave a Reply