So, as I was ironing my moms clothes, a thought gripped me. Oh and how thoughts grip me these days, it’s unbelievable. I go into a trance, I can’t wait to write and get it all out of my system. So, here I am, doing just that, spilling it all out for me to come into a state of peace and semblance. Miss Light, tell me, Have you truly become selfish? Are all your actions about you, you, and just you? The answer I get is Yes, strangely I have become selfish on many levels. Everything is about me. It’s about how I feel. It’s about how I love. It’s about how I want to do things. It’s about my goals, my dreams, my life and anyone who comes in between that is shown a clear answer NO. Don’t over step that boundary. You can’t change my stance. You can’t tell me I can’t do this or that. Because I am doing it all. I am going where my heart is telling me to go. Yes, leave the damn brain aside. My heart is guiding me. Someone is guiding me and no one can come in between me and this someone. Who is this someone? People ask me, who is this person, thing? I don’t know. I don’t know if he or she is there, if he or she exists, if he or she is just in my imagination. If I am hallucinating every day of my life, but I am following my heart. I am following my heart so much that it hurts, it hurts so much, I am on fire most of the day. I am burning. I am the fire, so throw all the shit you want at me, it will burn and crumble to ashes. The fire remains because there is something who is not allowing this fire within me to die. It’s going to keep burning for now. For how long? Who knows? I don’t think anyone knows. But coming back to selfishness. I have been told I am selfish, I am disrespectful, I am full of myself, I am not able to see beyond myself these days, and so on and so forth. “I don’t appreciate what you do” came from someone I loved dearly. So, it’s been amazing. This ride I am on has been amazing. And all I can say is “Bring it on” and “How wonderful”. Strangely, all the people I loved unconditionally came in and said stuff to me and left no stone unturned. I have also said stuff to them so I guess we are even. But you know what? I am so damn selfish today, it’s unbelievable. But I can also give equally. I can give back so much love that you will die. You will die wondering if someone can really love you unconditionally. Can someone really give you so much love that you are soaked soaking in love, as my teacher says. I can. But for that to happen you have to follow some rules. I have set these rules. They aren’t difficult rules and here they are :
- Be authentic with me. Tell me your deepest, darkest secret and be rest assured your secret is safe with me. Tell me the worst things you’ve done in your life and I wont judge you one bit. I will only shower you with love.
- Don’t love me back. Yes, really. Don’t love me back. Because I am whole and complete and I don’t need anyone or anything to love me back today.
- Leave me if you have to but before you do please give me a valid reason why you’re doing what you’re doing. I need reasons. I don’t like it when people walk away without a valid reason. You can hurt me. But tell me why and leave.
So, if you need love, ping me, if you need someone to love you unconditionally, be there for you like there is no tomorrow, ping me. I can do that with no questions asked but don’t forget to follow the rules. Life is short and I promise you that if you come in contact with me your life will be transformed forever. I know it! I feel it! and my feelings have never failed me.
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