Has this thought ever crossed your mind? Well, if it has ever crossed your mind then go ahead and read further and if it hasn’t you may not resonate with what I am going to tell you. This question has been crossing my mind a lot for the last few months. So much so that, it makes my heart pound and I tend to lose it completely. I get angry if I am talking to someone about it and they aren’t getting me. No one is getting this thought that I am trying to convey to them. I wonder why? Maybe because they’re happy and satisfied where they’re. They are comfortable. They are at ease. They are in flow. So, then I wonder if I am the only one right now within my circle who feels she deserves more? Don’t get me wrong. I have a lot in my life. I have the best parents, a caring husband, a wonderful child, an amazing sister, great friends around the world who I know will be there for me, and enough money for me to lead a good lifestyle. So, then why do I feel I deserve more? Isn’t this just enough to keep me happy for the rest of my life? No it isn’t. Something is missing. Something so significant is missing that I am still trying to find that something and I know its out there waiting for me too. I just know it! I don’t know how but I just know certain things and this time I can’t be wrong. I deserve more than all of the things I stated above and its coming to me. It’s on its way but its taking so long and this wait is killing me. I am losing patience. My teacher has taught me to have infinite patience for everything but Infinite is seeming too much to handle today. I don’t have so much time my teacher. I want things to happen now. I deserve everything now. I am now. Who knows I am not there tomorrow. So, can you please let whatever is coming my way to just come sooner. Because I deserve more. Why don’t we ask Santa? Santa can get you anything right .That’s what I tell my daughter. Every year, I tell her. Write the letter and Santa is getting it for you from the North Pole and she starts working on her list by October. So, this time I am asking Santa because who said I am not a child? I am the child of the universe and I deserve to ask for whatever I want and maybe a bit sooner than when its supposed to arrive. When I have done so many things before time. Then why can’t the universe give me a few things before time? I have in so many occasions finished projects before time. Met my assignment deadlines during my MBA before time. Fallen in Love with someone before time. Told my best friend that we must start dating before it was time. All of this allowed me to get what I wanted before time. So, I deserve more than this. I deserve a whole lot more than this. So, if someone who is in charge of all of this is listening, please do the needful. I work with deadlines. I don’t know how to work without them. So, give me a deadline. Tell me by when will I get what I deserve. Because this wait is killing me softly.
Yours truly,
Miss Light