When life has always been princesses and fairy tales, when life has always been love, light, and laughter. When life has always meant happiness, and serving others. When life has always been smiling at yourself, smiling at strangers, smiling at every damn person. Then how can your world fall apart? But it does. Because who said I am the luckiest person alive? Who said I deserve all the good in life? Who said I haven’t done any bad things? Who said I haven’t been mean to people? Who said I haven’t hurt people? Let’s come back to basics Miss. There is something called Karma. So I am paying a price for all the shit I have put people through all these years and also put myself through. And so what’s next? Wait for it. Your world falls apart. But who is your world? What does this world entail? Why do you keep harping on the word world?

Let me explain to you what is my world. My world is a place where I am free. A world where I choose what I want to do. I choose who I want to be with and who I don’t want to be with. I choose who I love and who I don’t want to love. I choose the food I eat. I choose the clothes I wear. I choose if I want to live alone or live with someone else. I choose if I want to meet you or no. I choose if I want to sleep with you or no. I choose if I want to talk to you or no. I choose every damn thing. Don’t you get it? But let’s get real Miss. This is the real world. You don’t choose anything. Things get chosen for you. You just follow. You’re just an instrument and the music keeps playing. My teacher has a quote, I cant remember because I don’t remember anything he tells me. It’s all a blur. It’s all in my consciousness but I don’t remember a thing. Okay, I remembered it. It says Be an empty flute. Something on those lines. Some of his quotes are so complicated but yet so simple. They hit you hard. I don’t think he realises it. or Maybe he does. But thats besides the point. I am telling you how my world is falling apart. I am telling you that you don’t choose a damn thing in your life. Everything gets chosen for you. You just follow. You know like the soldiers in the second line follow the soldiers in the first line while they’re marching. You do just that. You follow through whatever is expected of you each moment in time. And as you do that, slowly and steadily your world starts falling apart. The ground beneath you starts to break. Very soon you don’t have a ground to stand on. You’re falling with no one to catch you. Now, all you wish is you had a parachute and someone could help you open it for you. But you don’t have a parachute. Because you were living in your fairy tale and you thought your world would never fall apart. But let’s be honest Miss, you aren’t the most special child of the universe. God wants you to shake up, break up, and wake up. He wants you to suffer. He says only if you suffer will you come out stronger. It’s a plan for my soul? What soul? Which soul? I have no clue.

Just a while ago, a few months ago, I was enjoying watching my show on Netflix, Was it Emily in Paris? No, It was something better. Because all the shows I watch have some depth and love and connection. It was a show called Virgin River. It’s such a beautiful show, you know why? Because she had the courage to leave her life behind and go live in a small town and start from scratch. She wasn’t scared to start fresh. Her world had fallen apart. Her marriage had broken. She lost a child while giving birth. Can it get worse? But she had the audacity to start a new life. To move to a small town and give everything up. And her life actually changed for the better. She found love. She found people who truly cared for her.and even though she was afraid that didn’t stop her from taking the plunge. Then what stops us from taking the plunge when things fall apart? What stops us from being fearless and saying screw all of you. I am doing what I want to do. Whats the worst that can happen? You would have made the worst decision of your life. But What if the worst decision becomes the best decision of your life? Why don’t we ever think of it like this? Who said we have to follow a certain order of living, be born — go to school —- go to college —- do your masters —- get a job —-start a business —- get married —- have children —-suck it up —die —-suck it up —- die —- suck it up and — finally just die. No it doesn’t have to be this way. You can have a different life trajectory, which looks something like this. Be born —— go to school —- go to college —- go on a vacation —— go on another vacation —– don’t come back till you find yourself ——fall in love —– break up —- fall in love again —– break up —– don’t fall in love —— be alone —– time to find yourself —— find your passion —– suck at it —— don’t find your passion —– don’t do anything —– just be —– fall in love —– rise in love —– be love —- become love —– become one —- you are one with the universe. You are one with God. Perfect life now? Finally, a sigh of relief. Not so soon. Oops! You screwed it all up again and you start all over again.

It’s never too late to start again. It’s never too late to realise you can start all over again. It’s never too late to say good bye to the people who are bringing you down. It’s never too late to fall in love again. It’s never too late to tell someone how much they mean to you. It’s never too late to tell your story. It’s never too late to screw it all up. But please don’t settle for less. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. and who knows what you deserve? You know it. You know it deep inside. It’s time you embrace it. It’s time. If not now, then when?

Let me leave you with a quote from my teacher. My teacher doesn’t realise he writes these deep quotes which sound so simple but they’re deep. Maybe he realises it but he can’t do much about it. Anyway, here is one of his quotes.

What’s it like to stop hoping for a better past?

What’s it like to stop hoping for a better future?

What’s it like to stop hoping for a better present?

The past was as it was.

The Future will be as it will be.

The present is as it is.

What’s it like to hear that?

Nithya Shanti

Lots of Love,

Miss Light

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